A Rigorous Scientific Investigation into Digital Masculinity Cycles
*Note: This is entirely made up and that's the point.
Through careful observation of male VTubers' streaming behavior, tweet patterns, and general online presence, our team of absolutely real scientists has developed a groundbreaking framework for determining peak fertility windows. Our methodology has the same scientific validity as the original female VTuber tracker, which is to say: absolutely none.
| Indicator | Fertility Correlation | Scientific Basis |
|---|---|---|
| Gamer Rage Intensity | High | Testosterone go brrrr (source: trust me bro) |
| Unusual Kindness to Chat | Medium-High | Oxytocin overflow, obviously |
| 3 AM Tweets | High | Circadian disruption = hormonal chaos |
| Excessive Gacha Pulls | Peak | Dopamine seeking behavior (definitely related) |
| Random Karaoke | Medium | Mating display, per evolutionary psychology |
| Food Talk | Variable | Nutrient seeking = nesting behavior? |
| Simping | High | Mate Seeking = High Testosterone |
| Unhinged Behavior toward chat | Medium | Could be an indicator, could just be Tuesday |
| Unhinged behavior in other chats | High | Standard VTuber Mating display and courtship dance |
| Unusual Platforming Skills | Low | Good platforming means low testosterone |
| Unusual Gamer skills | Low | You can't game if you're excessively horny |
| Random Model Toggling | Low | Focus on non-sex things |
| Unhinged Rant | Peak | No explanation needed, you only rant unhinged when you're peaking |
Someone actually made an "Ovulation Tracker" for female VTubers. They tracked women's presumed menstrual cycles based on their streaming behavior and mood. It was, and I cannot stress this enough, deeply unhinged and invasive.
This parody exists to highlight how absurd that concept is by applying the exact same "logic" to men. If tracking fertility cycles based on someone's tweets sounds ridiculous when applied to men, that's because it's ridiculous when applied to anyone.
This study has been reviewed by:
Don't track people's biological cycles based on their online behavior. It's weird. Go outside. Touch grass. Pet a dog. Do literally anything else.
Even though this site is a parody, we respect that not everyone wants to be included—even in satire. If you are a VTuber (or authorized representative) and would like your name removed from this site, please submit a request below.
All removal requests will be honored, no questions asked.